Restless

I finally got myself to do something to occupy myself during this period of time. My mind is filled with nothing but muses of what is there to do at work, which customer happens to be taking what medication (weirdly enough, if I see them on the street, I could make a good guess as to what they are taking), and the neverending complaints and politics of the pharmacy. The effect is multiplied and compounded with having Wooi Lynn as a colleage when she shares the same sentiments as you do. Anyway... I decided to download a heap of movies, and one of them was the highly talked about "Twilight". Turns out it was a love story between a human and a vampire, as for the movie, it felt choppy to me in parts. Later on I found out that it was an adaptation from a novel, and so I got on to it. Little did I realise that I missed out so much about the story, had I just watched the movie. It definitely is always a big disappointment when you read the book, only to find that they try to condense a five-hundred page novel into an hour and a half.

The book to me brings about so much intensity and draws the reader's attention to what this story portrays. There was so much about teenage angst and sexual tension between the both of them that you could feel. After reading it, I realised that there were a couple more books about it, and I didn't know if I should continue on. Apparently the other books were not that well-received, and I didn't do myself any favours by reading the synopsis of what the other books were about. So the dilemma now is whether I should read the other books. But otherwise, a fair attempt.

I've been feeling quite restless lately. I'm surprised that I've mellowed with the hype of the Nintendo Wii, given that there aren't many new games to really follow up with. The newest game to be on the market, Street Fighter IV, which happens to be something I would love to play, does not exist on the Nintendo Wii platform! So that is definitely off-limits to me. Sigh. The one thing that I am looking forward to is to watch the Oscar-winning "Slumdog Millionaire". Whilst I wait for that, I'm still in pursuit of a new place to live. Wooi Lynn and I are earnestly looking for a dream place to live in after some of the dreadful things that have happened while we're in there (ants, crazy druggie neighbour, bitchy landlady who refuses to fix shower), and to be given more news today that they are intending to increase the rent by forty dollars. So we are definitely looking out now. If only I could really have some time off work to take my mind off the craziness that's going on, that would be swell. Oh well... time for bed!

Waiting Again

After having such a long hiatus from blogging, I decided to come back to writing out my muses. This time, it's because of a very disappointing reason. When I found out that I had first failed my exams back in October, I felt that the world has just crashed down on me. I felt I have let down everybody, and that included my family, Maria, and my boss. I told myself I would not do the same mistake again when I had another chance in February to redeem myself. Once again, I had to find myself at the same spot where I was three months ago - finding out that I had failed my exam, again, a week before I should have been officially notified. This time, the tears flow every now and then, but not continuously. Still the feelings are all the same. I felt I have let down my family, Maria, and my boss. I had to go through three months of hell of not being able to identify myself as a pharmacist to the public, and I have to find myself doing this again for the next couple of months. My mind is blank. I don't know how to break the news to my family. I don't know how to face my boss and say that I have failed again. I don't know how to look at the other workmates who have hoped that I would triumph the second time around and say that, it didn't work out again. It is fear. Yet it still has to be done, which hurts so bad. I could only look at myself and say that I was stupid for not performing the best of my abilities. I could find all the excuses in the world, but it would not stop me from thinking of how careless I was during the exams. This world is so real, sometimes you want to pinch yourself back into dreamland, to avoid the heartaches.

I have to brace myself for what would be the near future - and another four months waiting again for the right moment to shine. Third time's a charm? Gosh, this is so, so hard.